Deb Girard writes a weekley column for the Reno Gazette Journal. We've posted a few on the website for you to read. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to email them to: deb@colhospice.com
Accepting the unexpected
Recently during one of my less graceful moments I fell while attempting to get up and into my husband’s new truck resulting in a wrist that fractured in several places. In an instant all the inconveniences this moment would cause flashed before me. When my husband asked if there was anything he could do I answered, “Yes, turn back time.” I think this is a fairly common feeling when presented with a life altering condition. For those whose life altering event involves a situation that involves the initiation of hospice care and services, we can’t turn back time but we can help you set goals that assist you in living in the moment. At times patient’s feel guilty that a life style choice or decision may have precipitated the end of life event. What’s important; however is to reconcile to our present circumstances to enjoy each moment of every day.
How are you within…
One of the domains that we measure in our patient satisfaction survey relates to spiritual issues. The question that we pose to our patients and families is , “How are you within yourself?” This question allows us to ponder on our relationships with our friends, families, and a power greater than ourselves. We can gain a new perspective on how we are using our energy and time. If the answer we get from this simple question is not in alignment with our values and personal goals we can make the needed changes and at the end of our life we can say “Well done.” Hospice teaches that it is never too late to make sure that our inner life is in balance with our outer experience. Hospice is an inward journey of the human spirit and our staff is always present to support patients and families in this process.
Being Remembered
Long after we have left our physical bodies the memories we have helped create live on. Today I looked at a picture of my father-in-law holding his 18 month old granddaughter who during his last visit looked up at the six foot two elderly man and said “Poppy.” Why she decided to call him this without any prompting is anyone’s guess but from this point forward he will be “Poppy” to this little girl. Hospice help’s preserve these special memories and create memory tools that will live on long after the last chapter of the story of your life is complete. Long before the need for hospice arises have you thought about how you want to be remembered? Have you started the process of a life review? It is never to early to begin your legacy of remembrance.
To Ease Our Burdens
Recently while walking in the wilderness areas around our home my husband came upon a wild horse. What amazed him about the experience is that the horse approached him and for a brief moment allowed my husband to touch him. As he described the event to me I couldn’t help but reflect on a story I heard once about an Indian Medicine man who was walking across the plains to visit the Arapaho Nation. He was approached by a Black Stallion who said, “I am from the Void where Answer lives. Ride on my back and know the power of entering the Darkness and finding the Light.” Anyone who has experienced the heavy burden of loss of someone loved understands this experience. If you are entering the Darkness or moving through it know that the light is there waiting for you.
For everything, there is a season
This morning I noticed how the leaves on the maple tree had turned to gold. I watched as the small creatures that feed on the cracked corn in my yard were preparing for the long winter ahead. This reminded me that many people I meet live each day getting ready for that time when all of their dreams of retirement begin to come true. The saddest of these moments is when I hear “We worked all of our lives for and now all of that has changed. Instead of a long life of together it will be just a few months.” It is important that we pay attention to the practicality that nature teaches us, but it is just as important that we don’t postpone living our lives. Hospice teaches me that life is meant to be lived so enjoy yourself on the way to your dreams. My motto has always been “plan as though you will love forever, but live as though you will die tomorrow.”
Joni Mitchell‘s lyrics “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” came into my thoughts today as I was driving to work. The majority of my life has involved working with the dying and their families. Through this work, I learned the lesson of appreciation and gratitude for the people and experiences in my life. My greatest hope when it’s my dying time is to know with certainty that I lived with gratitude and expressed this frequently to my family, my friends, my co-workers and even the “strangers” that come into our lives each day. June Carter Cash said,” There are no strangers, they are just friends you haven’t met yet!” It has been my experience that some of the most grateful people, the most life affirming, are those who are aware of their dying. Hospice can help the dying and their families this place of gratitude during when it seems out of reach.
